Helping an Alcoholic Son / Daughter

A comprehensive report from the WHO shows that over half of 15-year-olds surveyed have experimented with alcohol in the past year.

If you’re worried your child is struggling with alcohol addiction, you may feel your emotions reaching a boiling point, or your heart may feel like it’s on the verge of shattering. Yet it is critical to remain calm and work with your emotions, rather than for them.

We’re here to support you in recognising signs of alcoholism in a child and will give you practical steps to help them before the addiction worsens.

What reasons might a child develop an alcohol addiction?

Witnessing a child consume alcohol is always worrying, but if an alcohol addiction is forming, it can cause profound distress. As adults, we have come to understand the responsibilities and consequences of alcohol consumption through our own experiences. It can grieve us deeply when we see children drink a substance that damages their health, as they haven’t yet been through the experiential learning that we have. A child doesn’t know what to expect when alcohol enters the body, or the risks it poses.

Yet striking data suggests significant signs of young people struggling with alcohol-related problems across the country. Last year, more than 12,000 children under 18 contacted alcohol and drug services for help. Not every cause is known for these increasing numbers, but there may be a few common reasons that a person under 18 may dangerously experiment with alcohol:

• A coping mechanism for emotional distress: Teenage years are fraught with hormonal changes and overwhelming emotions. Sadly, a common way they perceive escape may be by trying alcohol. They could be trying to escape anxiety, trauma, or low self-esteem, yet alcohol will only serve to harm in the long run.
• Peer pressure and social normalisation: Teens can be incredibly susceptible to pressures from their friends or a larger social group. Drinking is seen by many as one kind of rite of passage, with its risks dangerously underplayed. If alcohol is treated casually or glamourised in their social group, they may feel pressured to join in, regardless of whether they’re actually comfortable or not.
• Family influence and inherited patterns: Children are incredibly receptive and absorbent of the behaviours and values of those around them. If they see family members use alcohol to deal with stress or conflict, or if there’s a history of addiction in the family, they may begin to see drinking as a normal part of life.

How does alcohol affect young people differently?

Alcohol addiction carries immense risks for the body and mind, especially in younger people. Even without the negative influence of alcohol, teenage years are marked with rapid change and hormonal growth.

• Impact on brain development and decision-making: A younger brain is still developing until the age of around 25. Alcohol notoriously impairs the mind’s ability for reasoning, impulse control and long-term planning. There can be lasting or permanent damage in these areas for a child struggling with alcohol addiction.
• Emotional volatility and mental health risks: For most people, alcohol serves to numb emotional pain temporarily, but it goes on to worsen anxiety and depression over time. For young people already navigating the emotional storms of adolescence, alcohol’s effects can amplify the risks of mental health problems developing.
• Increased risk of long-term addiction: Plainly put, the younger a person starts to experiment with alcohol, the more likely they are to develop an alcohol addiction across their lifetime.

Recognising the signs of alcohol addiction in your child

As the contributing factors of alcohol addiction in children are varied and multifaceted, so are the signs that the problem is developing. There will be some signs of alcoholism that can appear in both adults and teenagers, but some of the signs are more inherent to children and teenagers, including:

Changes in behaviour or personality

Nobody understands your child better than you do. You know that a certain amount of leeway should be given for the natural changes in teenage behaviour. Yet, some of the deep changes in behaviour or personality may be indicative of a substance problem. If they show sudden mood swings when talking about alcohol, or they withdraw completely when you raise the issue, there may be suggestions that their relationship with alcohol is troublesome.

Decline in academic/work performance

If your child is regularly drinking, their academic performance will inevitably suffer. Try to establish deeper connections with your child’s teachers, especially the teachers you know your child gets along with. You may see failing grades, skipped classes, or a drop in motivation, which all suggest deep problems are forming.

Physical signs (smell of alcohol, hangovers)

Some signs may be more overt, like the smell of alcohol on their breath, body, or clothing. In addition, you may notice more frequent hangovers, though your child may try to hide it in the solace of their own bedroom. We understand that you may not want to intrude on their space, but if they are frequently experiencing hangovers, outside support may be needed.

Increased secrecy, lying or defensiveness

Teenagers, of course, try to experiment and keep quiet about where they go, what they do and who they spend time with. If you notice your child becomes overly secretive about these points or reacts angrily to your questions, they could be hiding something they’re not yet ready to talk about.

What can I do as a parent or carer?

There are practical steps forward to give your child the help they need. We understand the potential severity of the situation you’re in and we know that it’s hard not to let your emotions take over.

Here are some things to keep in mind to make sure your child feels deeply seen and heard:

• Be present and avoid judgement: Even when you’re overwhelmed, showing up consistently with calm presence will make your child feel safer and less alone. Try to avoid an accusatory tone as you get through to them.
• Open up meaningful conversations: Create time to talk without pressure. Pick your moments, when things are quiet and plan a little beforehand. Give them space to express what’s really going on.
• Use “I” statements and validate their experience: Try phrases like, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed down lately, and I’m really worried.” Focus on your feelings and observations rather than letting them know what they’re doing wrong. A little validation can go a long way.
• Offer support, not ultimatums: Instead of saying, “You have to stop or else,” try, “I want to help you find a way through this.” Ultimatums will usually create a wall, whereas empathetic support will open doors.
• Take care of yourself while helping them: Supporting a loved one can take a toll on both your physical and mental health. Make sure you’re not emptying your own cup while trying to refill your child’s cup, though we know how difficult this can be. Take steps to make sure you’re staying well-rested and eating well.

I need help removing alcohol from my child’s life

Supporting a child through alcohol addiction can feel like one of the heaviest burdens a parent or carer will ever face. But you don’t have to shoulder it alone. Neither does your child.

At Recovery Lighthouse, we provide specialist addiction support tailored to young people, helping them regain stability, confidence and hope. From detox and therapy to long-term aftercare, our team is here to uncover the deeper issues behind alcohol use and guide your family towards lasting recovery.

Whether you’re ready to take the next step or need someone to talk to, we’re here to help—without judgement, and with full understanding. Reach out today and begin the healing journey for both you and your child.